My number one victory that God helped me achieve was quitting smoking! Initially, I thought it would be hard to stop, but when I replaced it with my faith, I let go and literally let God. Smoking was my happiness—when I was bored, when I needed an outlet, when I wanted to munch, when I needed to sleep, when I was stressed, or when anxiety started to creep up. I smoked A LOT! I thought, “Well, if I stop smoking, what fun is there to look forward to in life? I’ve got to have something for ME!” Well… God humbled me real quick. Sin looks like freedom until you try to stop. I didn’t need it; it was a trap from the enemy! All I needed was to actively lean on God’s guidance to pull me out of my sin.

I am not perfect, and I do have times when I reminisce, but what keeps me obedient is Luke 9:62: “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” With sacrifice comes challenges sometimes. Letting go of smoking was easy, but the recovery process was the challenge. I feel like smoking masked so much that now, when I am stressed or anxious, I have to deal with my RAW emotions. Therapy is currently a part of my healing process.

Back in 2021, I was in a domestic violent relationship. I finally got the strength to leave and never look back. I thought I was free and happy, but it was not until I got into a healthy relationship that I realized I had never unpacked the trauma I was still carrying with me. I masked it with smoking weed, isolating myself from friends and family, and constantly working. I also was not actively seeking God at the time. I thought leaving was enough, but nobody talks about how hard it is to get used to healthy relationships after a toxic one. It’s like you have to rewire your brain to understand that the treatment you thought was “love” really wasn’t.

Going from constantly being broken down and mistreated to the point you have no voice, not knowing who you are anymore, asking “What’s wrong with me? Am I the problem?” and constantly making excuses for THEIR actions. Healthy relationships allow you to be vulnerable, communicate effectively, uplift, respect one another, and love selflessly. This healthy approach can be scary. You want to run, go into fight or flight mode, and just be done because it is so hard. But healing is a process!

Luke 5:36 says, “No one takes cloth from a new coat to cover a hole in an old coat. If he does, he ruins the new coat, and the cloth from the new coat will not be the same as the old cloth.” I got baptized on January 7th, 2024, washing away all the pain, hurt, guilt, and shame. To God be the glory for giving me another chance to get it right. I realized I was trying to find love in everything else but Him!

I’m here to tell you God will HEAL you! He will teach you what LOVE is, He will make you new! And the only way is to actively seek a relationship with Him. Most importantly, I can’t stress this enough—READ YOUR BIBLE! For so long, I wanted to hear God’s voice, but I found that when you read His Word, you begin to see how God operates. You can hear the Word speaking to you throughout life, giving you discernment, guidance, conviction, and humbling you! You’ll start to walk differently, talk differently, and strive every day to be more and more like Christ. God is unwavering love and where true healing begins.

I pray that this touches anyone struggling with addiction or trying to overcome domestic violence. Remember, your past doesn’t define who you are today! Be kind to yourself, be patient, and let God be God.

Malachi 3:10: “Try me and know that I am God.”